I was doing some very interesting reading recently, into the science of the effects on dopamine and oxytocin. And the importance of bonding with our children.
People forget most of their childhood and are reminded by photos and videos. Most are about activities we did together, like going to the beach or hiking in the mountains. And although these are good things to do, they aren’t enforcing what is most important about our family relations during childhood:
Our Deep Bond Moments!
Instead of posed group shots – photograph, or film deep bond one-on-one moments:
- When a parent or grandparent is giving a hug
- When siblings are showing affection
- Take pictures of them playing together
- Scenes where its obvious how much fun they’re having together
One-on-one is important because both in the picture know they were part of the joy. Shots are particularly warm if it’s obvious the kids were unaware they were displaying their closeness. A picture like this has amazing power, especially for the younger brother.
This reminds him, like when he is a teen struggling with identity issues that he always had a strong bond with his big brother.
The Importance of Deep Bonds
These bonds are important because they dampen the impact of life setbacks and help us heal quickly from hurt. Keep recording these moments when they’re teenagers, they need to be reminded that you loved them through this difficult part of life.
Try to capture those moments of true connection and joy. As they grow older, particularly during the tough teen years, periodically show them to remind them of the deep relationships and safety that they have at home.
What if you didn’t Record these Moments when your kids were younger?
That’s OK. You can reminisce about those times and tell them what happened. Tell them how you used to chase them around the house like a lion. Tell them how you used to play football with them in the back garden.
You may already have these types of photos and videos, but they are lost among the flood of other pictures.
Find them and put them into a book or album or mark them in some way.
The most important takeaway is that you want to find ways like photos, videos or storytelling to remind them of the close relationships they had surrounding them as they grew up.
Why Photography is Important
I’ve read that children feel safe, welcome, seen and loved if there are images of themselves in the family home. I love this idea and think this is something every family needs to know.